Day 98 in a Year of my Life

What I wouldn't give to have our community back to normal right now.

When I look in the mirror, I want to see the twinkle back in my eyes.

I want to feel like smiling again without forcing it to happen.

I want to hear the smile in people's voices when we wish each other a 'good morning'.

I want the happy energy of my town back.

I don't like the constant sound of tarps flapping in the wind.

I miss the Seat of Knowledge.

I miss the lovely shady path that meandered along the river.

I miss my Tawny Frogmouths.

I miss my routine.

I miss my oven (our only access to power is a double power point in our box out the front of the house that we have plugged two extra long extension leads into - and that runs our fridge, a lamp, a small TV in our outdoor area and my computer).

I even miss Adoring Husband lazing on the couch watching Dr Who every morning.

At 3.30am tomorrow, it will be exactly one week since the tornado wreaked it's havoc on our community.  I can't believe that it's been a whole week already.

Even though so much has been done to clean up the devastation, it still feels like there is a long road ahead to find some semblance of normality.

I know that Adoring Husband is working hard to bring our lives back to 'normal'.  I also know that he is struggling every day with his own 'tornado demons'.

I wake up every morning and just for a brief moment, it feels like any other morning, and I look forward to my coffee with the boys and I think about the photos I might get, just like I have every morning for 4 years.  For that brief moment, there is no sadness or fear or disappointment or worry or anxiety.

Then the memory hits me like a dumping wave.

I love that first moment of the morning.  I remember it well from when my Mum passed away.  She was my last thought at night before sleep and my first thought in the morning - but there was always that one moment before comprehension and it always felt so nice.

So today, I am grateful for that first morning moment when all is right with my world and I hope that over time, the moment grows longer with every day that passes.

So I guess this is part of my grieving process.  The mental and emotional process that follows loss.  I hope this blog is going to help me through the process - I have always been much better with the written word than the spoken word.

I hope that you, who read this regularly, will be patient with me.

Nite all.

Day 97 in a Year of my Life

A little piece of wisdom ...

One evening an old wise Cherokee sat by the fire and told his young Grandson about the human experience. He described a battle, a fight that rages on inside of us all. A battle between two wolves. One is evil, and one is good. The Grandfather explained that the first wolf, the evil one, represented anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The second wolf, the Grandfather continued is the good one. This wolf represented joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and even faith. The Grandson thought about this situation for some time. He then asked his Grandfather 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee looked at his Grandson and simply replied, 'The one you feed.' What you feed grows, and what you starve dies.

**********

It's very, very quiet at this end of town now. Rows of houses with different coloured tarps over their roof and the ropes that are holding them down, tied to trees, fences, makeshift poles and tent pegs.

I read a weather report from the Sunshine Coast Weather Bureau on facebook tonight that warned of severe storms from south of Brisbane to the Sunshine Coast and that wind gusts of over 100 kmh had been recorded at Oakey, where Number One Son lives.

I don't mind admitting that I suffered a mini panic attack when I read it. My heart skipped a beat, I felt flushed and I felt a little breathless. My brain began plotting how we would ride out the storm and I began to feel sick ...

... then my brain stopped mid-thought and I realised the storms were not forecast for our area and there was no need to panic.

I don't know what I'm going to do when the next storm IS forecast for this area, particularly if we still only have a tarp over the roof.

I think we have a bit of way to go before the trauma doesn't affect us with every breath of wind, every mention of a storm, every glimpse of a dark cloud, every spot of rain and every loud sound in the distance.

Today, a beached yacht was removed from the beach by a crane, placed on the back of a truck and taken away.

These guys are waiting for some action.  The yacht is usually moored on the river, but both the yacht AND the mooring block were on the beach today.

I didn't hang around with them to wait for the action, because a large crowd was building and it looked like a time consuming job - at least a couple of hours. Hell of a big job!

Tonight at the Bowls Club, we heard lots more stories from local people with whom we hadn't caught up, since the tornado hit. Also a couple of regulars didn't turn up at all, so I think I'll go visiting tomorrow. I don't like it when my mates don't turn up without a good reason.

It was nice to do something 'normal' and it's definitely time to get back into our 'normal' routine.

On that note ... time for bed.

Nite all.

Day 96 in a Year of my Life

Here is Aussie H's story from the night of the tornado...

The noise of the tornado approaching, woke her and she got out of bed and walked to the doorway of her bedroom.  At that moment, the two bedroom windows imploded and a star picket post came through the window and imbedded itself in her bed.

All kinds of debris from the caravan park situated behind her unit, came through the windows into her bedrooms.  She rushed to her front door, at which point, her lounge room window was sucked out, along with her television and stereo unit and many other things that were in her lounge room.

She is so lucky that SHE didn't get sucked out with them!

Just as she went to open the door, a piece of timber slammed into the door, piercing it and jamming it shut, so that she couldn't get out.

She was screaming for help and two of her neighbours came to rescue her, taking her to one of their houses.

This is the view from where her back fence was.  This section of the fence was taken with the tornado and this is just a very small section of the caravan park which was decimated that night.

I can't begin to imagine the terror that she must have felt during that ordeal and I get shivers up my spine whenever I try.

Today, as I survey the carnage that remains after the tornado, I am grateful that no-one in my lovely community was seriously injured or killed.  Every day I hear new stories of close calls and cannot believe how lucky we have all been.

Nite all

Day 95 in a Year of my Life

To follow on from yesterday's post ...

You can never understand the terror of a tornado until you experience it.  You watch them on the news and you imagine what it would be like, but reality is so much worse.

It was a terrible, terrible night and I relive it every time I close my eyes at night and every time I hear a loud noise.  The destruction and the randomness is horrific and I have no idea how some people survived getting tossed around in their caravan,  timber homes disintegrating and windows exploding, as well as all that debris flying around piercing roofs and walls.  I shake my head in disbelief.

I had a feeling that night before I went to bed and remember, I even blogged about it and how apprehensive I was about sleeping and what might happen if a tornado hit our town.  I get shivers!

The house two doors up is a raised timber home and 1/4 of the house is a covered verandah (HUGE!), well the tornado hit that and it just literally exploded.  It flew over the house that sits between theirs and ours, and landed on our garage (which is part of our house).  We had one third of their verandah pierce the roof of our garage, which then collapsed and landed on our brand new car, one third landed between our garage and the house next door, destroying the fence  and the other third landed in our backyard on top of the new campervan.

The ceiling of that deck was made with solid hard wood 10 inch timber beams, approx 15 feet long and they have been found all over town,  two of them in our garage, two in our back yard and one in the empty block next door beside our bedroom.  The rest are as far as 100 metres away.  

The main caravan park in town is decimated.  Caravans completely destroyed, trees ripped up or stripped bare and all along the foreshore, the homes (which are mostly little holiday homes and x-fishermen shacks) are damaged in some way, trees are gone or stripped or fallen and the path along the river has been partially washed away in the flooding tides.

You can easily follow the path of destruction and see the havoc that it wreaked.  The stories of close calls and near misses are amazing and we are all shaking our heads in disbelief that nobody was killed or even badly injured.  One dog died in the caravan park.

The sound of that tornado coming was like a freight train bearing down on us.  I have never felt so afraid in my life and as soon as I heard it, I threw myself out of bed and jumped in my walk-in wardrobe, cowering in the corner with my eyes squeezed shut and begging for it to be gone.  Thank goodness, it didn't last long, but for the moment that it was there - it's the longest moment ever.

We have extensive structural damage to the garage, some water damage inside the home and some roof damage, but I still consider us bloody lucky.  The rest of our home is structurally sound and we have moved back in - we spent one night at a friend's house who was away for the weekend at the Sunshine Coast.

The local community and the people from The Bay who came to help us were amazing and I am so heartened by their show of love and support and generosity.  

So many people in crisis, while others party on like nothing ever happened.  In some people, I am shocked and disappointed.

Adoring Husband is not coping well at all and has broken down many, many times .. especially when people jump in and help.  It concerns me that his life has been so devoid of such kindness that he can be affected so strongly by it.  If I disappear from his sight, he is calling my name and rushing to find me.  Post traumatic stress could be a big issue I think.

Anyway, that is my story.  We are alive and uninjured.  Somewhat traumatised but very very lucky.  We are fully insured and most things that we lost can be replaced - very very lucky.

There are many others in our town who have lost everything, were either uninsured, or their insurance didn't cover 'tornados' and they are left with nothing.

There are elderly people who went through the experience alone and scared and in accommodation less sound than ours.

There are people who had close calls and near misses and who are a lot more traumatised than us.

People who will need other accommodation for the months that it takes to rebuild or repair their home.

People who will now leave the area.

Our town looked like a war zone in the 48 hours following the event, but slowly it is being cleaned, cleared and repaired.  

We created giant piles of debris on our front footpaths and the trucks and machinery are in the process of taking it all away.

The Council workers, SES workers, police, fire fighters, local builders and electricians, volunteers, counsellors and everyone involved were simply brilliant.  

Considering the number of the disasters that are currently occurring along the Queensland coast, they have fixed our problems quickly and efficiently.  I have nothing but praise for all of them.

A couple of photos tonight showing our damage.  I will show a few photos each day to document this terrifying weather event.

The bottom line is ... we are OK!  THAT is what I am grateful for today :D

Nite all.

I'm Back!

So my worst fears were realised at 3.30am on Sunday 27th January and our town was hit by a tornado.

Unfortunately, Adoring Husband and I did not escape unscathed, though both of us are alive and injury-free!

I'm here just to let you know that I survived the experience and will write more tomorrow.

We have only just gained internet access and mobile phone coverage, so tomorrow I will tell you my tale and post some photos.

Nite all.