Day 112 in a Year of my Life

You may think that this is silly, but it occurred to me today, that it's been seven years (almost 8) since my Mother died.

Seven years (almost 8) before that, along with other life traumas, my father died.

Seven years before that was another life trauma (which I won't go into here).

This year, the life trauma has been the tornado and Adoring Husband's diagnosis of Parkinsons.

So, by rights, this means that everything improves from here and I should have a huge stack of good luck and positive experiences coming my way.

Adoring Husband's life traumas are usually on a different time-line, but it seems that ours have aligned this year.

So, by rights, this means that everything improves for both of us and WE should have a huge stack of good luck and positive experiences coming OUR way.

Onward.  Upward.  Forward.

Today I am grateful for this blog.  I'm grateful to you who read it - friends and family and a couple of strangers from all over, who pop in to see what I have to say each day, who share my good times, my bad times, re-live memories with me, ride my highs and lows with me and follow my photography journey/therapy.

I love the occasional comments that you leave me, or the emails that you send and knowing that you're out there caring about me, means a lot.

So thanks :D

Nite all.

Day 111 in a Year of my Life

There is a possible cyclone forming East of Brisbane (which is a long way south for a cyclone to form) and they say it will head further south and affect NSW.  They say it is forming the same way that Oswald formed, which scares the 'you know what' out of me.

I know that I'm not alone in this community with this terrible fear, but every time the wind springs up or the rain gets heavy or I hear a loud noise or thunder, or see a weather map showing bad weather anywhere near us, or when I wake up in the middle of the night ... this wave of fear sweeps over me and my heart skips a beat, just like it did 'that' night, because there is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

The worst part is not having any power.

Just the power to make an educated and informed decision about whether it's safe to be here - would help.

We didn't have that power on 26th January.

You hear the stories where towns are warned of some natural disaster about to befall them ... like flooding rains or bush fires or a tsunami or whatever, so everybody evacuates ... then it turns out to not be as bad as the warning and people complain about it.

Well, we didn't get any warnings.  All we knew, was that ex-tropical cyclone Oswald was heading this way.  We weren't concerned because we have had many ex-cyclones pass this way and they've never provided anything but heavy rain and gusty winds.

I'm the only one that I know in town, who knew that tornados were possible that night, because I had joined the Sunshine Coast Weather page on facebook and they were putting warnings on facebook every 20 minutes from about 10pm, stating that there was a possibility of tornados moving south from Bundaberg.

Aside from that, the winds from the supposed 'ex'-cyclone were blowing at 125 kms an hour during the night.  Those are already damaging winds, and we weren't warned about them at all.

That's why almost everybody was awake at 3.30am when the tornado hit.

The wind and the rain kept everybody awake, whether they were lying awake in bed or sitting in their lounge rooms or making coffee in their kitchen.

If we had been warned of the seriousness of these dangerous weather conditions, Adoring Husband and I, more than likely, would have headed out of town.  We'd have packed our campervan and loaded ourselves and the dogs into the car and headed out of town until conditions improved.

Adoring Husband and I are not brave when it comes to the wrath of Mother Nature, and after this experience we are even less brave.

The fear grows, and not just for us.  I've seen it in people's eyes, heard it in their voice and relived it in their stories.

I know that this is to be expected.  But it doesn't make it any easier.  I wonder how long it will take to NOT feel afraid of the weather.

Today I am grateful for the fear ... it means I'm alive ... and the story could have been very different except for a few feet.  I am also grateful for your patience while I work my emotional way through the disaster path.

Thank you for listening.

Nite all.    

Day 110 in a Year of my Life

Adoring Husband does a good Valentines Day!

He was waiting for me at the train station when I arrived home today.  It's a 20 minute drive home from where the train stops.

Waiting for me on the kitchen bench, were a dozen long stemmed red roses.  Absolutely beautiful.  This photo was taken with my mobile phone.

While I relaxed on the couch, Adoring Husband loaded up the car and then we headed off to the river.

After I chose which picnic table we would sit at, he sent me off for a walk for ten minutes while he prepared everything.

I returned to find this ...

We ate a delicious fresh seafood platter that Adoring Husband prepared himself, loaded with sand crab, mud crab and king prawns, along with a home made seafood sauce.

He also prepared a nibble platter of cheeses, stuffed peppers, pickled artichoke hearts, crackers and dip.

He cooked up some crumbed calamari, crumbed whiting and prawn cutlets, all made with gluten free bread crumbs.

A quirky new wine glass with his personal message written on the front topped off the amazing presentation.

We ate til our bellies were full and then sat on the seat at the end of the park to watch the sun set.

Such a lovely relaxing Valentines Day.  Everything that I'd hoped for.

Today I am grateful for the effort that Adoring Husband went to for this Valentines Day.  I know that he has been feeling stressed and pressured after the tornado disaster, so I know how much extra effort it took to put this together.

Thank you my darling.  I love you xxx

Nite all.  

Day 109 in a Year of my Life

Happy Birthday No 2 little Miss Chicklet!

I was sure it would be an early start to the day, so I jumped out of bed just after 5am, had a shower and made myself presentable for the day.

Then I waited.

I waited some more.

Finally!  At 7.15am little Chicklet decided it was time to rise and shine!

I heard her voice so I left the room with my camera and waited at the bottom of the stairs, ready to get a photo of her face when she saw the balloons.

She couldn't stop talking ... Hullo Bozzy Wozzy!  Oh balloons!  Pop Pop Pop It's a party.  Happy birthday to you.  More balloons!  Oh a little birthday friend!  Pop Pop  Birthday party!  Look at the balloons!  Pop Pop  More birthday friends!  Balloons!  Pop Pop  Happy birthday!  Look Mama!  Look Dadoo!  It's a party!

She was beside herself with excitement and I think by the time she was composed enough to come all the way down the stairs, we all had a tear in our eye.  We were overwhelmed by her contagious excitement.

We took it slowly, so as not to overwhelm her too much.  She opened the presents in her own good time and spent most of the first half an hour discovering all the birthday paraphernalia in the room.

The balloons under the stairs.  The balloons and streamers hanging from the fan and the ceiling rafter.  Her toys on the couch all wearing party hats to celebrate her birthday.  The birthday presents on the coffee table.

The brightly coloured little fluffy balls with eyes that we placed strategically around the room for her to find.  She squealed with delight and called them her "Special birthday friends".

Then we had a special rainbow breakfast ...

The popcorn was her favourite part of that breakfast.

The rest of the day was happy and fun and all about Chicklet.  I think she had a fabulous day.

I'm so pleased that I made the trip down ... not that I ever had any intention of missing it, but that tornado sure came close to putting a spanner in the works!

She is as precious as can be and I love her to pieces.

I am absolutely exhausted after blowing up over 100 balloons and blowing thousands of bubbles today.

Vegan Chickie and the Bare-chested Chef are also exhausted after all the cooking and decorating and creating the perfect birthday for their precious daughter.  I think she felt pretty special!

So now I'm off to bed.  I'll only have a few hours with my little Chicklet before I leave for home tomorrow.

As long as the weather holds out, Adoring Husband and I will be savouring a fresh seafood platter by the water and watching the sun set for Valentines Day tomorrow evening.

Nite all.

Day 108 in a Year of my Life

This is what Chicklet will see when she wakes up tomorrow morning.

It's after midnight and I have a sneaking suspicion that I will be awake very early in the morning, so I'd best get some sleep.

Nite all.

Day 107 in a Year of my Life

I'm too tired to write.

I'm here (Sunshine Coast) and I have my Chicklet, electricity, air conditioning and a stove for real cooking instead of just the barbecue.  (Actually, Adoring Husband and I could get more adventurous with our cooking on the barby, if we really wanted to.)

No photos today because I was too busy making friends with Chicklet's toys and having fun with her.

I'll get the camera out tomorrow.

Today, I am grateful for a quick and safe trip on the bus and then for the happy greeting from my loving family when I arrived.  Their 'Island of Calm' will nurture me and prepare me for the onslaught of house repairs when I return.

Soooo looking forward to the next few days.

But right now, I need to sleep.

Nite all.

Day 106 in a Year of my Life

I'm excited to be heading south to visit my little Chicklet tomorrow.  She turns two in a couple of days!  Can you believe that!?

Two years ago I was in New Zealand awaiting the birth of my first grandchild, and now, here we all are, back in Oz, about to celebrate the fabulous twos.

I can't wait to see her!  It's been two whole months since we were there for our holidays and two months is a long time in the life of a two year old.

So this also means that I have been writing this blog for two years as well!

6th Feb 2011 was my first post http://agechallengedrqqzy.blogspot.com.au/2011/02/i-think-im-now-blogger.html

I began writing it exactly a week before my little Chicklet was born.

Tonight, the sunset looked pretty special, so I grabbed the camera and ran across the road to the lagoon.

Unfortunately, the colour was all but gone by the time I reached 'the spot'.

In the opposite direction, I spotted this ...

... and that was enough to make me happy.

Mother Nature is healing my wounds.

Today, I am grateful for the chance to spend birthday time with my Chicklet.  Be prepared for lots of photos in the coming days.

Nite all.

Day 105 in a Year of my Life

Well, it looks like the repair job on our house is going to be bigger than Ben Hur.  A major repair involving a cast of thousands and the possibility that we will have to move out for a period of time as well.  However, we still don't know exactly what's going on, so instead of stressing about what might happen, I choose this ...

Today, I am grateful for my ability to go with the flow, roll with the punches and let the universe do what it will.  I know that it will all work out in the end ... it always does :D

Looking forward to a breakfast fry up at the park in the morning, with my boys, so I'm off to get a good nights sleep, so that I can get an early start.

Nite all.

Day 104 in a Year of my Life

WILBUR HERBERT LIVES!

Poor Wilbur Herbert was in the back garden when the tornado hit almost two weeks ago.  He must have been tossed around a bit, but luckily, still managed to fall within the confines of our yard.

He was in a few pieces when we found him, but he survived and lives to travel again in our future!

Today I am grateful that Wilbur Herbert did not get tossed over the fence, through, over and beyond our town.  I am grateful that he survived because he is my trigger for some fabulous memories from last year and I don't want to lose him!

Nite all.

Day 103 in a Year of my Life

From this ...

Comes this ...

I need to be there much earlier in the day when the light is better.

The cactus plant is so harsh with sharp edges and dangerous thorns and the shape is pretty ordinary, but when it's flowers bloom, the flower is so delicate and beautiful and completely opposite to the plant itself.

I don't like cactus plants, which is why I don't grow them in my garden, but I adore the flowers and when I see them in full bloom like this, I often reconsider.

I guess that as long as the people around me grow these lovely plants, I will continue to take advantage with my camera, at the times when they are at their most magnificent.

It's nice to photograph something beautiful, instead of all the ugliness and destruction during this last 10 days.

Today, I'm grateful that Mother Nature can still show us her gentleness and beauty, after the wrath  that she shared with us on the 27th January.  That doesn't mean that I have completely forgiven her ... but I'm getting there.

Nite all.

Day 102 in a Year of my Life

Can barely keep my eyes open.

Adoring Husband and I drove into The Bay this morning and saw 'Les Mis' at the cinema.

Adoring Husband slept through a good portion of it.  He is not the slightest bit interested in

• Period Movies
• Period Musicals

It was very nice of him to sit through 3 hours of what he would probably class as his 'cruellest form of torture'!

I loved the movie and I'm glad that I saw it on the big screen because it was a spectacle to behold.

It was nice to get out together - we finally had a builder secure the house yesterday.  We've had a gaping hole for anyone to walk through for 10 days, so one of us had to be here at the house to protect ourselves against looters and the like.

Definitely time to sleep.

A photo of one of my old boys from the Seat of Knowledge, who lives in the caravan park and who survived the tornado intact.

Nite all.

Day 101 in a Year of my Life

So I think you can tell, by the quotes that I've been posting on facebook for the last week, what my frame of mind has been like.

Yes, I've been looking for positive affirmations to drag me out of the tornado tumbles.

This afternoon was a good start when about 30 of us had a barbecue at what's left of the Lion's Park.  Thirty good people.

It was very therapeutic.  It was good to talk.  It was good to listen.  It was good to be together.  Some of the regulars, and some fresh faces as well.

I had a nice time :D

Today, I'm grateful for 'debriefing' opportunities with old friends, and for the chance to develop deeper relationships with old acquaintances, where we share the bond of this dreadful disaster.  Hopefully there will be more positive bonding opportunities in the future.

Nite all.

Day 100 in a Year of my LIfe

Broken roof + windy day = scary noises.

A photographer friend posted something on facebook today and I thought it was an interesting way to compare the earlier years of our life, to how it is today.

I've used her examples and added a couple of my own.

When I was 29 ...

• I was a divorced, single parent
• I was receiving welfare payments
• I lived in Griffith
• I had three children
• I rented a commission house for $57 wk
• I feared that I was a failure
• I had part time cleaning work
• I wanted to be happy
• I had no life plan or goals - just going with the flow

Now ...

• I am married to Adoring Husband
• I live on the Fraser Coast
• I own my home
• We have 5 grown children and 4 grandchildren between us
• I fear Mother Nature
• I have 16 yrs experience with Public Service
• I am a freelance photographer
• I want to continue being happy
• I still have no life plan or goal - still going with the flow

I've learned that life can be unpredictable and can change, for better or worse, in an instant.

I've learned to soak up and enjoy the good and happy times.

I've learned that the bad and sad times don't last forever.

I've learned that I can cleanse my life of people who make me unhappy.

I've learned that life is too short.

I've learned to never say never.

I've learned to try 'almost' anything once (I draw the line at sky diving and bungie jumping!).

I've learned that it's never too late to find new good friends.

I've learned that there is always plenty more to learn.

I've learned a bunch of other stuff too, but that'll do for now.

Today I'm grateful for most of the things that I've learned along the way, and I'm grateful to still be here to hopefully learn some more.

Nite all.

Day 99 in a Year of my Life

It just happened that on Saturday, 26th January, which was Australia Day, Adoring Husband and I spent the morning at the Lion's Park.  We cooked our breakfast on the public barbecue and wandered around taking photos because of the heavy overnight rainfall and the unusually high tide.

Then the tornado hit in the early hours of 27th January.

This morning, exactly a week later, I took some photos from about the same angles as last week's shots.

Before and After shots...

I have some more to do, but it's a bit emotionally draining, so I'm not going to do them all in one day.

However, today, I am grateful for our impromptu photo shoot on the day before the tornado, because now we have a pretty accurate catalogue of 'before' and 'after'.  Sad, but true.

Today is a fragile day, so I'm taking it slowly and quietly, and licking my wounds.  It started badly, but is slowly improving.

Woman of Many Talents dropped by with her other half, the Kiwi Boy, today.

It was good to see them ... I needed to see them today, because they were away when the tornado hit and they struggled for three days to get home through the floods.  They've spent the last four days cleaning up and they were the last of our friends that we hadn't seen since it all happened.

I'm beginning to crave some comfort food - should I or shouldn't I?  I'll let you know the outcome tomorrow.

Early mark today so ...

Afternoon all.

Day 98 in a Year of my Life

What I wouldn't give to have our community back to normal right now.

When I look in the mirror, I want to see the twinkle back in my eyes.

I want to feel like smiling again without forcing it to happen.

I want to hear the smile in people's voices when we wish each other a 'good morning'.

I want the happy energy of my town back.

I don't like the constant sound of tarps flapping in the wind.

I miss the Seat of Knowledge.

I miss the lovely shady path that meandered along the river.

I miss my Tawny Frogmouths.

I miss my routine.

I miss my oven (our only access to power is a double power point in our box out the front of the house that we have plugged two extra long extension leads into - and that runs our fridge, a lamp, a small TV in our outdoor area and my computer).

I even miss Adoring Husband lazing on the couch watching Dr Who every morning.

At 3.30am tomorrow, it will be exactly one week since the tornado wreaked it's havoc on our community.  I can't believe that it's been a whole week already.

Even though so much has been done to clean up the devastation, it still feels like there is a long road ahead to find some semblance of normality.

I know that Adoring Husband is working hard to bring our lives back to 'normal'.  I also know that he is struggling every day with his own 'tornado demons'.

I wake up every morning and just for a brief moment, it feels like any other morning, and I look forward to my coffee with the boys and I think about the photos I might get, just like I have every morning for 4 years.  For that brief moment, there is no sadness or fear or disappointment or worry or anxiety.

Then the memory hits me like a dumping wave.

I love that first moment of the morning.  I remember it well from when my Mum passed away.  She was my last thought at night before sleep and my first thought in the morning - but there was always that one moment before comprehension and it always felt so nice.

So today, I am grateful for that first morning moment when all is right with my world and I hope that over time, the moment grows longer with every day that passes.

So I guess this is part of my grieving process.  The mental and emotional process that follows loss.  I hope this blog is going to help me through the process - I have always been much better with the written word than the spoken word.

I hope that you, who read this regularly, will be patient with me.

Nite all.

Day 97 in a Year of my Life

A little piece of wisdom ...

One evening an old wise Cherokee sat by the fire and told his young Grandson about the human experience. He described a battle, a fight that rages on inside of us all. A battle between two wolves. One is evil, and one is good. The Grandfather explained that the first wolf, the evil one, represented anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The second wolf, the Grandfather continued is the good one. This wolf represented joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and even faith. The Grandson thought about this situation for some time. He then asked his Grandfather 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee looked at his Grandson and simply replied, 'The one you feed.' What you feed grows, and what you starve dies.

**********

It's very, very quiet at this end of town now. Rows of houses with different coloured tarps over their roof and the ropes that are holding them down, tied to trees, fences, makeshift poles and tent pegs.

I read a weather report from the Sunshine Coast Weather Bureau on facebook tonight that warned of severe storms from south of Brisbane to the Sunshine Coast and that wind gusts of over 100 kmh had been recorded at Oakey, where Number One Son lives.

I don't mind admitting that I suffered a mini panic attack when I read it. My heart skipped a beat, I felt flushed and I felt a little breathless. My brain began plotting how we would ride out the storm and I began to feel sick ...

... then my brain stopped mid-thought and I realised the storms were not forecast for our area and there was no need to panic.

I don't know what I'm going to do when the next storm IS forecast for this area, particularly if we still only have a tarp over the roof.

I think we have a bit of way to go before the trauma doesn't affect us with every breath of wind, every mention of a storm, every glimpse of a dark cloud, every spot of rain and every loud sound in the distance.

Today, a beached yacht was removed from the beach by a crane, placed on the back of a truck and taken away.

These guys are waiting for some action.  The yacht is usually moored on the river, but both the yacht AND the mooring block were on the beach today.

I didn't hang around with them to wait for the action, because a large crowd was building and it looked like a time consuming job - at least a couple of hours. Hell of a big job!

Tonight at the Bowls Club, we heard lots more stories from local people with whom we hadn't caught up, since the tornado hit. Also a couple of regulars didn't turn up at all, so I think I'll go visiting tomorrow. I don't like it when my mates don't turn up without a good reason.

It was nice to do something 'normal' and it's definitely time to get back into our 'normal' routine.

On that note ... time for bed.

Nite all.

Day 96 in a Year of my Life

Here is Aussie H's story from the night of the tornado...

The noise of the tornado approaching, woke her and she got out of bed and walked to the doorway of her bedroom.  At that moment, the two bedroom windows imploded and a star picket post came through the window and imbedded itself in her bed.

All kinds of debris from the caravan park situated behind her unit, came through the windows into her bedrooms.  She rushed to her front door, at which point, her lounge room window was sucked out, along with her television and stereo unit and many other things that were in her lounge room.

She is so lucky that SHE didn't get sucked out with them!

Just as she went to open the door, a piece of timber slammed into the door, piercing it and jamming it shut, so that she couldn't get out.

She was screaming for help and two of her neighbours came to rescue her, taking her to one of their houses.

This is the view from where her back fence was.  This section of the fence was taken with the tornado and this is just a very small section of the caravan park which was decimated that night.

I can't begin to imagine the terror that she must have felt during that ordeal and I get shivers up my spine whenever I try.

Today, as I survey the carnage that remains after the tornado, I am grateful that no-one in my lovely community was seriously injured or killed.  Every day I hear new stories of close calls and cannot believe how lucky we have all been.

Nite all

Day 95 in a Year of my Life

To follow on from yesterday's post ...

You can never understand the terror of a tornado until you experience it.  You watch them on the news and you imagine what it would be like, but reality is so much worse.

It was a terrible, terrible night and I relive it every time I close my eyes at night and every time I hear a loud noise.  The destruction and the randomness is horrific and I have no idea how some people survived getting tossed around in their caravan,  timber homes disintegrating and windows exploding, as well as all that debris flying around piercing roofs and walls.  I shake my head in disbelief.

I had a feeling that night before I went to bed and remember, I even blogged about it and how apprehensive I was about sleeping and what might happen if a tornado hit our town.  I get shivers!

The house two doors up is a raised timber home and 1/4 of the house is a covered verandah (HUGE!), well the tornado hit that and it just literally exploded.  It flew over the house that sits between theirs and ours, and landed on our garage (which is part of our house).  We had one third of their verandah pierce the roof of our garage, which then collapsed and landed on our brand new car, one third landed between our garage and the house next door, destroying the fence  and the other third landed in our backyard on top of the new campervan.

The ceiling of that deck was made with solid hard wood 10 inch timber beams, approx 15 feet long and they have been found all over town,  two of them in our garage, two in our back yard and one in the empty block next door beside our bedroom.  The rest are as far as 100 metres away.  

The main caravan park in town is decimated.  Caravans completely destroyed, trees ripped up or stripped bare and all along the foreshore, the homes (which are mostly little holiday homes and x-fishermen shacks) are damaged in some way, trees are gone or stripped or fallen and the path along the river has been partially washed away in the flooding tides.

You can easily follow the path of destruction and see the havoc that it wreaked.  The stories of close calls and near misses are amazing and we are all shaking our heads in disbelief that nobody was killed or even badly injured.  One dog died in the caravan park.

The sound of that tornado coming was like a freight train bearing down on us.  I have never felt so afraid in my life and as soon as I heard it, I threw myself out of bed and jumped in my walk-in wardrobe, cowering in the corner with my eyes squeezed shut and begging for it to be gone.  Thank goodness, it didn't last long, but for the moment that it was there - it's the longest moment ever.

We have extensive structural damage to the garage, some water damage inside the home and some roof damage, but I still consider us bloody lucky.  The rest of our home is structurally sound and we have moved back in - we spent one night at a friend's house who was away for the weekend at the Sunshine Coast.

The local community and the people from The Bay who came to help us were amazing and I am so heartened by their show of love and support and generosity.  

So many people in crisis, while others party on like nothing ever happened.  In some people, I am shocked and disappointed.

Adoring Husband is not coping well at all and has broken down many, many times .. especially when people jump in and help.  It concerns me that his life has been so devoid of such kindness that he can be affected so strongly by it.  If I disappear from his sight, he is calling my name and rushing to find me.  Post traumatic stress could be a big issue I think.

Anyway, that is my story.  We are alive and uninjured.  Somewhat traumatised but very very lucky.  We are fully insured and most things that we lost can be replaced - very very lucky.

There are many others in our town who have lost everything, were either uninsured, or their insurance didn't cover 'tornados' and they are left with nothing.

There are elderly people who went through the experience alone and scared and in accommodation less sound than ours.

There are people who had close calls and near misses and who are a lot more traumatised than us.

People who will need other accommodation for the months that it takes to rebuild or repair their home.

People who will now leave the area.

Our town looked like a war zone in the 48 hours following the event, but slowly it is being cleaned, cleared and repaired.  

We created giant piles of debris on our front footpaths and the trucks and machinery are in the process of taking it all away.

The Council workers, SES workers, police, fire fighters, local builders and electricians, volunteers, counsellors and everyone involved were simply brilliant.  

Considering the number of the disasters that are currently occurring along the Queensland coast, they have fixed our problems quickly and efficiently.  I have nothing but praise for all of them.

A couple of photos tonight showing our damage.  I will show a few photos each day to document this terrifying weather event.

The bottom line is ... we are OK!  THAT is what I am grateful for today :D

Nite all.

I'm Back!

So my worst fears were realised at 3.30am on Sunday 27th January and our town was hit by a tornado.

Unfortunately, Adoring Husband and I did not escape unscathed, though both of us are alive and injury-free!

I'm here just to let you know that I survived the experience and will write more tomorrow.

We have only just gained internet access and mobile phone coverage, so tomorrow I will tell you my tale and post some photos.

Nite all.