Funny Insults

These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to  4-letter words. Insults then, had some class! 

1.  "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play.  Bring a  friend … if you have one."

     - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.  

 "Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If  there is one."  -  Winston Churchill, in response.   

2.   A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

     "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." 

3. "He had delusions of adequacy."  -  Walter Kerr 

4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  -  Clarence Darrow

5. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

     -  William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). 

6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."  -  Moses Hadas

7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."  -  Mark Twain

8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." -  Oscar Wilde 

9. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."  -  Stephen Bishop

10. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."  -  John Bright

11. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."  -  Irvin S. Cobb 

12. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."  -  Samuel Johnson 

13.  "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."  -  Paul  Keating

14.  "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."  -  Charles, Count Talleyrand

15.  "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."  -  Forrest Tucker 

16.  "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"  -  Mark Twain 

17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."  -  Mae West

18.  "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."  -  Oscar Wilde

19. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."  -  Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

20.  "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."  -  Billy Wilder

21. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't  it."  -  Groucho  Marx.

22."He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."  -  Winston Churchill

Some of those are fabulous and some, not so much 😋

I threw the ball for Harley 248 times this morning.

I calculated that he ran 5 kms.

He did a full run around the pool 108 times - it’s approximately 25 metres each run = 2.7 kms

He did 140 runs across or along the pool - it’s approximately 16 metres return either way = 2.24 kms

AND he swam 15 full laps of the pool = 120 metres.

He still wasn’t worn out because BGWLBH kicked his ball around the yard with him a couple of dozen times later in the morning.

This afternoon I spent another 20 minutes throwing his soccer ball around the yard.

He certainly gets plenty of exercise!

I received a call from Rebel Mardi this afternoon and we chatted for about 45 minutes. I miss her. It was lovely to catch up with all her news and to hear her friendly voice. I wish we lived closer for hugs and coffee.

Nothing else of interest. Footy. Cooking. 

Tomorrow will include a six hour power outage so BGWLBH and I will be heading into The Bay to avoid the discomfort while Adoring Husband stays home with Harley.

It’s now 11pm so sleep time for me.

Nite all.