Nice to see you!

Three major events occurred for me last year (2010), all in the space of about 2 weeks. I turned 50. The following day I got married. Two weeks later, my oldest daughter became pregnant with her first child and my first grandchild.

Most middle-aged people will tell you that in their minds, they still feel 20 something. It's the same for me.

Wasn't it only yesterday that I was planning a night out with guys from the surf club? That gorgeous new perm. Flaired, cuffed denims and the red t-shirt with the off-the-shoulder frill. Corked platform wedgies. **sigh**

Suddenly I'm looking in the mirror and wondering how 30 years can flash by so damned quickly!

So here I am in cyberspace, sharing my genuine shock and horror with anyone who'll listen and maybe I'll even meet some other over 50s who find themselves in the same predicament!

Welcome to my dilemna!!

Saturday, May 7, 2016

A Day For Mothers

I've been searching on Youtube for short meaningful videos about mothers. I really wanted to find just the right one to share here. One that would provide insight into my relationship with my mother. I couldn't find anything suitable. They were too soppy, too full of 'God' and 'Prayers', and overflowing with way too much love.

Don't get me wrong. I loved my mother. And she loved me .. in her own special way.

There was a lot of distance between us, both physically and emotionally. My mother carried a lot of baggage from her own childhood and because of that created a lot more baggage with and for me. I know that she was doing the best that she could, using the example that had been set for her and doing everything that she could to not make the same mistakes that her mother did with her.

Of course, with all of those good intentions, she made lots of her own mistakes. Big ones.

In turn, I had my own good intentions of not making the same mistakes that she did, and of course, made my own mistakes as a mother. Also big ones!

The first memory I have of feeling rejected by my mother, was when she caught my father having an affair. She left him for six months. She left my brother and I with him. He worked away, so he had no choice but to put us into foster care. I was four and my brother was about 6 months old.

The second memory I have of feeling rejected by my mother, was when I was six years old. At the age of five, I had appendicitis with complications during surgery. Less than a year later, I had a clot in my tubes which required more surgery, also with complications. She sent me away to live with my grandparents claiming that I needed time away to recover fully and get strong. They were travelling in a caravan around Queensland at the time. Apparently, I was with them for a year.

I remember living in a cane field outside Mackey and in a caravan park in Cairns and there was lots of driving!

Anyway, there were many other times when my mother had me feeling rejected or unimportant in her life and as a result, I became rebellious and out of control as a young teenager. Funnily enough, she believed that it was my father's long work absences and his surly attitude that caused it. She had me believing that too.

It's only recently that I figured out how her own behaviour affected me in such a negative way.

Having said all of that, she was a strong woman who had to deal with a lot of crap in her own life, from a young age. It made her pretty tough and she coped with everything that life threw at her with courage and acceptance and handled it all with strength and dignity (most of the time) and mostly alone. Due to work commitments, Dad was rarely there for emotional support, that's for sure.

There were phases and stages in my life, especially as my kids came into the world, when she was my rock and my best friend. I almost always lived thousands of kms away from her, so we spent hours on the phone together talking about everything baby and child related. I can't even imagine how I would have managed those first few years with the kids, without her love and support, even though it was from afar.

When my husband and I separated, she wanted the kids and I to move to QLD to live with her and Dad til I got on my feet, but I refused. I didn't want to rely on them. I didn't want to hear them say 'I told you so'. I didn't want them to take over raising my kids. I didn't want them telling me how I should live my life. I didn't want my kids to experience what I did as a child.

So I guess that seeing her raise us, mostly on her own, gave me the belief that I could do that too.

She taught me how to cope with life crisis' and to just get on with it.

She taught me to not suffer fools.

She taught me to not rush into life's big decisions, to think long and hard, but when I make a choice, to stick by it.

She taught me how to adapt to all the changes that the journey of life brings .. both the expected and the unexpected.

She taught me, in a strange way, about loyalty and about supporting family and the people who you love and who love you.

Even though she got to spend so little time with my kids, I recognise and know now, that she adored them. I feel a little regretful that the kids and Mum didn't get to spend more time together. I understand now, how important Grandparents are in a child's life, and my choices created a big gap in all their lives.

So now, without my Mum for 11 years this year, and wishing desperately that I could share my perfect little grand daughter with her, I'm actually missing her this year, more than any other year. So many times when Chicklet says or does something amazing, I want to call Mum and tell her all about it. She would have loved how clever and how sassy and how crazy my Chicklet is. I've imagined her laughing til she had tears, at Chicklet's antics.

With a few sooky la la tears rolling down my cheeks, I share this photo of my young Mum, well before I was even a twinkle in her eye ...

... and I wish all the Mums out there, a very happy Mother's Day. If you are lucky enough to still have her in your life, enjoy the day with your Mum, otherwise enjoy your day as a Mum yourself, and have fun with your family. Feel the love from a phone call or a text or a card. It's all precious.

And on a lighter note ...

Nite all.    

Friday, May 6, 2016

R & R Reward

After my big day of cleaning yesterday, today, I had fun with Adoring Husband in The Bay.

We shopped for necessities. We shopped for the pleasure of shopping. We shopped for food. We checked on the status of my charm bracelet at the jewellers. We did grandbaby shopping. We did doggy shopping. We did salted caramel ice cream shopping. I even stepped into BUNNINGS!! And you know how much I HATE Bunnings!!

We lunched at Wild Lotus.

We returned home to view my beautiful, shiny and clean workspace!

Tonight was the usual Friday night raffle at the Bowls Club, but the crowd was much bigger than normal and the noise was almost unbearable. No luck at our table, which seems to be the norm these days!

I've been hanging out for the new Karaoke Carpool with James Corden and it finally came through on my feed today. Such fun with some amazing back seat visitors in George Clooney and Julia Roberts.

Now I feel the need to sleep.

Happy birthday BGWLBH. I hope you've had a nice day :)

Nite all.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Mission Accomplished

I used almost every procrastination tool that I had, to avoid having to clean my work area today.

I prepared a beef casserole in the slow cooker. I made up a big batch of spaghetti bolognese sauce. I did two loads of washing. I did some ironing. I cleared out some clothes from my wardrobe (a whole garbage bag full).

Eventually, I worked for two hours in my work area. Then I had to ride to the butchers to pick up some meat that I had ordered in the morning. I bought a coffee while I was there. When I returned I spent another two hours in my work space.

Finally, it was finished! The 'before' and 'after' shots as promised.

I have to say that I am well and truly done for the day! I think I'll sleep well tonight.

Adoring Husband spent the day on Fraser Island doing SES 'stuff' and took this photo as a storm cloud passed near the beach ...

... how amazing to see a water spout form right before your eyes! Apparently there was another one off to the right of this. It's a shame that all he had was the phone to get the shot.

I have another big day planned for tomorrow. A bit more cooking and a bit more decluttering. So I'm off to bed to wind down with a bit of meditation before sleep.

Nite all.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Kinda Kondari

It was a lovely morning tea with the girls today, where we gently celebrated Rebel Mardi's birthday with home made carrot and pecan muffins (by me) and orange and date muffins (by Beauty), and with a happy red balloon tied to her chair .. that was a sign for any passers-by to wish her a Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Rebel Mardi/Kaz :) I hope you enjoyed your day and felt some warm and fuzzies.

From there, the Speckled Hen, Reality TV Queen, Chef Pat and I headed into The Bay to test out the restaurant where we will be lunching with our lady's group this month. I liked it very much. Even Reality TV Queen gave it the thumbs up! She had grilled fish with chips and salad and even though the fish was well cooked, she said it lacked some flavour, but overall, was nice.

Kondari Resort

I had Barker's Creek pork cutlet with chilli glaze sauce on a bed of mash and salad. The pork and the glaze sauce was delicious. I barely touched the mash, but the salad choices from the salad bar were great.

The Speckled Hen had Lamb's Fry and Bacon. Chef Pat had Battered Fish and Chips. Four satisfied customers.

The pub had a nice atmosphere and the staff were friendly and welcoming, so I'm looking forward to returning there at the end of the month.

Today is May 4th ...

... one more time with feeling ... May the 4th be with you!

Tomorrow is Thursday and I have set myself the mission of cleaning and decluttering my work area. It's going to be a massive undertaking and I hope to post the 'after' photo here tomorrow evening.

Wish me luck!

Nite all.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

The Monthly

Well, here we are on the first Tuesday of the month, and we all know what that means! Group barbecue on the river ... except ... they've closed off the park by the river and we've had to find a new location for the next 6-8 months while they build the controversial boat ramp near the Lions Park.

Our only other option is at the other end of town in a park on the waterfront, but the water and beach are obscured by trees and bushes, so we don't have the lovely views of the water and the sunsets that the Lions Park affords us.

Almost everybody was available tonight, so it was a noisy and happy group with lots to talk about. I wonder, if the people in the houses across the road, were disturbed by our excitement?

I made a delicious salad that I plucked from Pinterest this afternoon. It was Roquefort Pear Salad and it was even better than I expected! I replaced the Roquefort cheese with Feta cheese and I did my pecans on a tray in the oven with maple syrup and himalayan salt.

ALL of the dishes on the table (we all contribute a plate of something) were delicious and I commented that the entire meal was better than restaurant quality. We make a great team!

Now it's almost midnight and I have a big day tomorrow, so I'm off to bed.

Nite all.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Procrastination and Distraction

My day began with such good intentions!

I looked at my desk and work area, remembering that two months ago, I announced here, with an accompanying 'before' photo, that I would clean it out and share an 'after' photo, in 2 days, or two weeks or two months.

Well, the two months is up and this morning, I felt motivated! Here is the new 'before' photo ...

I pedalled to the Seat of Knowledge to see the boys, bought my morning coffee and came straight home to begin my chore.

Where to start?

I decided to start with the drawers of beads, charms and other jewellery making paraphernalia. I checked online to see how other people sell their beads and began bagging them in colours and 250gm ziplock bags.

While I was doing this, I remembered that I was going to make clearing my office, part of my vision board! So with the skills of a great procrastinator, I left the bags of beads and the scales on the kitchen bench and headed into the back room where I had stored my vision board.

I laid it on the ironing board and gathered my books, magazines, cards, pictures and quotes, ready to create a masterpiece. I cut out a couple of pictures and stuck them on the board and then placed other pieces in strategic places.

For some reason, unknown to me, I opened the top drawer of the dresser in that room and began emptying out the contents. I was in de-clutter mode and decided that if I hadn't used anything in the drawers for years, then I needed to remove them from the house!

Twenty minutes later, with that drawer very much lighter and a pile of unwanted 'stuff' on the floor, I turned back to the vision board and while browsing through my life diary, I decided that I needed photos of yoga, meditation, walking along the beach and rebounding for the physical health part of my board.

This led me to the next bedroom where the giant bookshelf is stored.

Big mistake!

Twenty minutes later, I had the dining table half covered with books that I don't want to keep anymore, but none of the pictures that my original search was for!

So, in the space of about two hours, I'd covered the kitchen bench with beads, charms and plastic bags. I'd covered the ironing board and a single bed with books, magazines, cards, quotes, scissors, sticky tape and glue. I'd made a pile of unwanted clutter on the floor of the spare room. I'd partially covered the dining table with unwanted books and I had achieved absolutely nothing!!

Adoring Husband arrived home from his morning at the SES shed and I had to clear as much stuff as possible to organise lunch.

Then we watched two movies together!

Then it was time for dinner.

The story of my life.



It's all over for me!

Let's hope I can find some dregs of today's motivation, tomorrow, so that I can put a much bigger dent in my original plan that was for today!


Nite all.    

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Happy Hummer

I wish Australia had a native Hummingbirds. I love them so much! This is a great story ...

I collected my sand crabs from The Motivator this morning and ate three of them for lunch. I still have two more to pig out on tomorrow, which makes me very happy. I love sand crab season!

I found a great app today. Since I stopped being 100% paleo, my ability to fall asleep immediately has been greatly reduced. At first, I found an app to live stream any radio station in the world, and I was listening to some classic 60s, 70s and 80s music, which lulled me to sleep quite well.

That worked for about three weeks, but soon my brain noise began overriding the music, so today I searched for an app with sleeping sounds, white noise and meditations. It's called 'Relax Melodies: Sleep Zen Sounds and White Noise for Meditation, Yoga and Baby Relaxation'

It has the sounds of river, ocean, rain, winds, birds, flute, piano, thunder, campfire, wind chimes, slow waves, frogs, cat purring, grandfather clock, wind in the trees, brahms lullaby and many many more. It also has guided meditations for sleep therapy, attracting success, creativity, concentration etc etc.

It gives you the option to create your own sleeping sounds by combining the different noises. It also gives you the option to pay money, which buys a large number of other sounds, guided meditations and white noises.

There is a clock so that you can set it to turn off after a certain time.

The ones that disturb me the most, are the running water sounds, because they make me want to pee and then there is a campfire, which would be wonderful to fall asleep to, but if I woke up to the sound of fire, I would be awake and jumping out of bed screaming "I think the house is on fire!!!" Then the adrenalin pumping through my body would stop me from falling back to sleep!

There are a couple of urban sounds too, like the sound of traffic going past your house, or trains in the distance .. they are a bit disturbing, but I remember when Bubbles lived on a main road and came up here to visit, the silence prevented her from relaxing and falling asleep at night, so I guess the traffic sounds would have been helpful for her at that time.

Tonight will be the test for me, so I'll report back tomorrow!

Let the test begin ...

Nite all.