Resting Day

I think one of the hardest things for me is to allow someone to have a bad opinion of me. I want to defend myself. I want to explain why they’re wrong. I want to convince them that I’m a decent person and I am worth liking. 

I don’t want my reputation left in their hands, because their hands are fickle.

But the truth is, the very, very hard-to-swallow truth is that I’m not in control of their opinions about me. I’m not in control of the view they have of me, the light they choose to see me through and unfortunately, even what they say about me to others. 

Peace is letting go. 

Peace is accepting that they’re entitled to their feelings about me. 

They have every right to not like me. They have every right to not choose me, to not invite me or to label me as the villain, the bad guy, or whatever else they want. They don’t have to forgive me, give me grace or even attempt to understand my point of view. 

But at the end of the day, the thing is, my reputation is who they think I am—whatever version of me they have created in their mind. It may be about me. It may involve me, but it’s not really mine to hold. 

My character, however, is who I actually am. 

My character belongs to me and me alone, and I take it seriously, so I guess they can have their perceptions and they can have their own ideas about who I am and why I do what I do. I release their opinions about me, but I hold tight to my peace.

We all have take responsibility for the words we write. That’s on us, but we don’t have to exhaust ourselves trying to be responsible for the way people choose to read them. That’s on them. 

I enjoyed my Sunday.

I didn’t have to cook breakfast because Adoring Husband chose cooking duties this morning.

I spent an hour playing with Harley, then an hour in the art room (I’ll take pics tomorrow).

I made a late breakfast/early lunch for myself, which I took into the lounge room and I watched Calamity Jane, By The Light of the Silvery Moon and Sweet Charity.

I dozed on the couch with Harley through the middle movie.

Harley and I played again before I cooked mango/chilli chicken with baked potato, pumpkin, carrot and capsicum and steamed asparagus and beans for dinner.

After dinner, AH and I watched Weekend at Bernie’s.

Got a day in the bay tomorrow so it’s time to sleep now.

Nite all.