Nice to see you!

Three major events occurred for me last year (2010), all in the space of about 2 weeks. I turned 50. The following day I got married. Two weeks later, my oldest daughter became pregnant with her first child and my first grandchild.

Most middle-aged people will tell you that in their minds, they still feel 20 something. It's the same for me.

Wasn't it only yesterday that I was planning a night out with guys from the surf club? That gorgeous new perm. Flaired, cuffed denims and the red t-shirt with the off-the-shoulder frill. Corked platform wedgies. **sigh**

Suddenly I'm looking in the mirror and wondering how 30 years can flash by so damned quickly!

So here I am in cyberspace, sharing my genuine shock and horror with anyone who'll listen and maybe I'll even meet some other over 50s who find themselves in the same predicament!

Welcome to my dilemna!!

Monday, January 2, 2012

The Theory of Happiness

Day Twenty-seven  -  From a Distance

I mentioned yesterday, that I have a theory about happiness.

Happiness comes in ebbs and flows.  As long as the ebbing and flowing remains even, everything goes smoothly.

If you feel overwhelming happiness for too long, the wave of happiness grows bigger and bigger, until eventually, it has to crash, as all waves do.

When it crashes, you get dumped, big time.

It means that something devastating will happen to cause you untold sadness ... to make up for the overwhelming happiness that you had for too long.

I have many personal examples which I can't share on here and which require detailed explanations, but the two examples that I can share are:

2005 - After a year of riding the wondrous wave of happiness while forming my relationship with Adoring Husband and then moving to Sydney to live with him and feeling like I was the luckiest person on the planet,  my mother died suddenly and unexpectedly.

Absolutely knocked the wind out of me and stole a great big chunk of that happiness right away from me.

2011 - Having ridden the wondrous wave of happiness after moving to my perfect patch of paradise three years ago with Adoring Husband,  meeting a host of wonderful people and forming a fun social circle, and then getting married and experiencing the best wedding ever.  On top of that, the birth of my perfect little Chicklet.

The one person who, above all others,  genuinely shared my happiness, was always excited to hear about my new life, had a twinkle in her eye and a grin from ear to ear knowing how happy I was.  The one person who never questioned my decisions and was never ever critical of my new life ... died suddenly and unexpectedly.

Absolutely knocked the wind out of me and stole a great big chunk of happiness right away from me.

After many experiences like this in my life.  There is now a 'thought' that I know, when it crosses my mind, I need to be very, very wary.

The thought is this "My life is perfect and I can't imagine being happier than I am right now."

With that very thought, my heart skips a beat and I begin to feel anxious.

The same goes for the deep sadnesses in my life.

When I am feeling at my lowest and I am wondering how I am ever going to dig myself out of this pit of despair, a 'thought' hits me.

The thought is this "This has been tough going, but I am now due for some happiness, so the only way from here is up."

With that very thought, my heart skips a beat and I begin looking forward to and planning a positive future.

We humans are a strange bunch aren't we?  We all deal with life's highs and lows in different ways.

Some focus on the bad and sad, spending their lives feeling sorry for themselves and looking for sympathy from their peers.

Some pick themselves up, brush themselves down and just get on with it.

Some want to talk about their problems with anyone who'll listen.

Some withdraw and need to work it all out internally.

There is no right or wrong way.

I think we have to let people deal with their 'situations' however they need to do so, and give them the space to do it.  No pressure.  No demands.  No guilt.

As hard as I try, I will never understand life.

I analyse and I ponder and I contemplate and I reflect.  I never come close to understanding what life is all about.  Why are we here?  What is our purpose?

Yes, I know, the meaning of life is 42.

That makes more sense than anything I can come up with.

The reason I'm telling you about my theory of happiness is because I shared it with my brother after he lost his 'soul mate' and just yesterday he reminded me of it by saying he was going to monitor his happiness so that he didn't get too much of it (I can't remember his exact words).

In case anyone is interested, my entry in the Windows challenge came third (because The Master thought the window sill was too high and made Win look uncomfortable and 'set up').  Ah well, I strive to do better next time.  Thanks Win :D for being an easy and co-operative model.  I may call on you again!

Nite all.  

1 comment:

eljaih said...

Well all this happiness talk makes me wonder, as I have been happy for a full 5.5 years with Knight in shining Armour, does this mean I'm due for some sadness soon?