Nice to see you!

Three major events occurred for me last year (2010), all in the space of about 2 weeks. I turned 50. The following day I got married. Two weeks later, my oldest daughter became pregnant with her first child and my first grandchild.

Most middle-aged people will tell you that in their minds, they still feel 20 something. It's the same for me.

Wasn't it only yesterday that I was planning a night out with guys from the surf club? That gorgeous new perm. Flaired, cuffed denims and the red t-shirt with the off-the-shoulder frill. Corked platform wedgies. **sigh**

Suddenly I'm looking in the mirror and wondering how 30 years can flash by so damned quickly!

So here I am in cyberspace, sharing my genuine shock and horror with anyone who'll listen and maybe I'll even meet some other over 50s who find themselves in the same predicament!

Welcome to my dilemna!!

Sunday, January 5, 2020

Feeling Compassion

While Adoring Husband seems compelled to watch the news, I am avoiding it like the plague.

Unfortunately, Facebook (my social media of choice), fills my newsfeed with story after story of the fire devastation, so unless I want to lock away all of my devices, I can’t avoid knowing what’s happening.

It does me no good to know what’s happening.

Me knowing what’s happening does no good for the victims.

Sharing even a small bit of their trauma does not help them or me.

As usual, it’s the people who can least afford it who are donating and raising funds for necessary organisations like Emergency Services and Fire Fighters who the Government should be supporting financially.

Tens of millions of dollars have already been raised for those services and also for WIRES, Red Cross, Salvation Army, Vinnies and for the bushfire victims. There is no more storage room for all the food and clothing donated and sent to the area.

Celebrities and sporting stars have pledged huge amounts of money and this has had a knock on effect so more and more are coming forward all the time.

So now we look at the “Power of Compassion” - not just in this situation, but in our own lives in many different circumstances.

What does compassion mean?

It is NOT to take away another’s pain by taking over - that is ‘control’.

It is NOT to suffer in order to help another - that is ‘martyrdom’.

If someone is sinking in quicksand, is it compassion or foolishness to jump in and try to save them? Compassion brings courage and co-operation to remain on solid ground while throwing a rope for support. Compassion brings discernment and tolerance to recognise their choice to grab hold of the rope or not.


A distorted view of compassion is ‘co-suffering’ which many of us practice.

Sometimes we feel guilty because someone is suffering more than us, so we ‘put up with’ a situation confusing this gesture with compassion.

Our polite conditioning tells us that not feeling ‘guilt’ means we don’t care enough.

Compassion is to co-operate with anyone in need of support - without taking away their power or sacrificing yours while acting as a loving guardian of your own well-being.

Helping others at the expense of your own health and well-being is to oppress and sacrifice your own powers. Your needs should NEVER be placed at the bottom of your list. Not for your children, your family, your friends or strangers.


You can recognise this trait in yourself when your body breaks down with illness after you’ve completed a stint of putting yourself last because when we are too busy helping others, we ignore our body’s signals to slow down.

To remain constructive in any circumstance, we must apply the first rule of first aid - take care of your own safety and well-being first.

Compassion brings love, cooperation, and generosity from a big heart to create a healing environment without any feelings of obligation.

May you have the wisdom to understand the difference between compassion, control and martyrdom. There is a fine line that many cross in their pursuit to help others but we help no one when we attempt to help others out of our need to be needed.

Be merciful, starting with yourself.

So, in this current crisis, don’t feel ‘obliged’ to donate financially if you cannot afford it.

Don’t suffer through hours of torturous news stories sharing the trauma of those thousands of people who are directly affected.

Don’t get involved in the ‘us’ and ‘them’ debates about how this could have been avoided.

When all this is over and emotions settle, there will be more practical suggestions for where and how you can be involved in the recovery process in a caring compassionate way, even from a distance.

I spent the majority of my day in bed, sleeping until 10am 😳 but then being very productive outlining two different workshop ideas that I have for this year, researching and summarising some of the powers that I’m practicing, writing down some ideas for blog posts and printing out some quotes, words and pictures for my 2020 vision board.

I decided to revamp last years vision board because last year it was hidden on a wall that I rarely saw, which explains why most of my visions were not acted upon. I covered most of my old visions with new ones.

It’s now on my bedroom wall where I will see it every day!


And suddenly, it was 5.45pm and it was time to prepare dinner!

Tomorrow is still my weekend. I might do some art 🖼

Nite all.

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