Being Useful

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my willie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's willie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,

''Where are your testicles?''

The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

The Gypsy visited this morning so that I could help her fill out some important paperwork.

It took almost two hours and was a little bit stressful.

Afterwards, we sat by the pool to chat and relax, which was nice.

She left at 2pm.

Tomorrow, I’m off to her place for lunch. We were supposed to be having a women’s gathering but there have been too many cancellations in the last 24 hrs so, instead, Heart of Gold, The Gypsy and I are having a girlies lunch.

I am providing dessert which I’ve decided is berries (raspberries, strawberries and blueberries) with chocolate avocado mousse. The Gypsy is vegan so it can be tricky for we non-vegans to figure out something tasty that doesn’t include any animal products.

My mousse is made with avocado, coconut cream, cacao powder, salt and maple syrup. Adoring Husband and I used to eat it often during our paleo years.

I’m looking forward to our day together.

My ‘fend for yourself’ meal was toasted ham and tomato on sourdough followed by a dairy free magnum ice cream. I ate that at 2.30pm and that was enough to satisfy me for the day. I did eat some cheeky cheezels for a snack in the late afternoon.

We’ve been watching footy all afternoon and AH went to bed before 7pm.

The new barbecue is still not useable due to issues with the gas line. We’ll get there eventually.

It’s not even 9pm but I’m very tired so I think I’ll get some sleep.

Nite all.