Despite my best efforts to remain positive and uplifted this season, it has been an absolute struggle to find any semblance of ‘happy’.
I was grateful for a low key Christmas Day in hibernation where I could get sucked into the vortex of Netflix - although a couple of my choices such as The Matrix and Don’t Look Up were too close to actual reality and didn’t help improve my state of mind.
Grey skies, missing friends, minimal or nonexistent family contact, imminent life and lifestyle changes, local and global events and an uncertain future, among other things have all contributed to my low energy and negative vibing.
I’m reminded of a weekend in 1977 when my mother spent an entire weekend in bed refusing to speak to anyone and her only words were “it’s a case of stop the world, I want to get off”.
I’m the only one that can lift me out of this.
I think I’d like to dwell here in my self indulgent misery for another day and then I’ll take positive steps toward putting some colour back into my days.
Today I stayed in bed until 5pm.
There were storms about so I avoided the pool.
At lunch time, I shelled the remaining crab and stuffed my face.
I wrote a very long message to a friend who wanted some information and when I was 3/4 of the way through it (that took me 40 minutes) my battery went dead and I lost the entire thing. My motivation to retype it was at zero level so she still hasn’t received the info.
At 4pm I received a phone call from The Motivator and we chatted for an hour.
I made ham and salad for dinner and we watched the 2nd Matrix movie - which consisted of many long laborious choreographed fight scenes and car chases. It was everything it’s fans warned me it would be but I persisted because I want to watch all of the Matrix movies in succession - but not in one day.
And by “it’s fans” I mean Number One Son and Beautiful Girl With Long Blonde Hair.
We watched a 2nd movie “A Street Cat Named Bob” which was very nice and had a warm and fuzzy ending … until the credits ran and it said “In Loving Memory of Bob The Cat” ugh 😩
It’s now almost midnight so it’s sleep time for me.
Nite all.
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