It's all Relative

When I lived in Sydney (for 3 long, less than ideal years), I had to commute an hour to work every day to the city by crowded train.  Sydney was dirty, loud, busy, fast and angry.  To cope with this lifestyle, it was imperative to move from a standing start to 100kms hour the second that you walked out your front door.  

I worked at Centrelink (and had done so for 13 yrs prior to moving to Sydney) dealing with angry, frustrated, frail, ill and depressed customers day in and day out.  I was often the one called upon to deal with the angriest of customers and I was often the one called upon to give these customers bad news about their ineligibility for payment or the cancellation of their payments.

My ability to calmly deal with this kind of anger and frustration was envied by many, and I often surprised all levels of management with the way I could change a customer from screaming, shaking anger to smiling calm and thankful in the space of twenty minutes.  I was strong and felt empowered and confident in that job.

The only time I ever felt really stressed was when I had to deal with incompetent work colleagues who were the ones causing the anger and frustration in the customers in the first place!

Incompetent staff could reduce me to a trembling, steaming fit of rage in a split second!  Especially the ones who had worked in their department for ten years or more and still were unable to display any real expertise.  Still, I controlled the anger and only ever slammed one door once.

While I lived and worked in this stressful environment, my adrenalin levels were pretty high all the time, so it took a LOT to upset me.  It seemed that I was always switching to 'cope' mode and I coped with everything, big and small.

The WAY that I coped may have been less than ideal and possibly detrimental to others, nevertheless I coped.  I FELT like I was at least 'in control'.

Then my mother passed away unexpectedly.

After I got all of her affairs in order, I fell apart.  I no longer felt, in the slightest way, in control of anything.  I didn't even have the emotional strength to walk to the train station to go to work, let alone deal with angry customers or stupid work colleagues.

A year off work, fully paid.  Months of counselling.  Months of time management planning with the Dr (in place of anti-depression medication).  Months of planning a life and lifestyle change with Adoring Husband.

Eventually, I quit the job.  Eventually we moved to our quiet little town.

Four years later, and we are living a quiet, calm, healthy lifestyle in a relatively remote little fishing village where nothing bad ever happens.  There is nothing to stress over.  The people are friendly and happy and they smile and wave wherever we go.  The sun shines.  There is no pollution or traffic or crowds.

We have found our own little niche in the community.  We love it here and can't imagine living anywhere else.

So why is it, that this morning when I arrived at the Seat of Knowledge, when I found an empty 2 litre coke bottle lying in the rocks, an empty plastic bait bag and an empty tomato sauce sachet on the ground, did I feel that familiar steaming, trembling fit of rage that was once only fuelled by incompetent staff????

It's all relative really.

When you are coping with a lot of stress, it takes a lot to break you.

When you are living with minimal stress, it takes little to make you angry or upset.

School holidays and tourists - guaranteed to make me disgruntled.

It upsets me that I go out of my way to welcome holiday makers into my town with a friendly smile and a happy 'good morning' as I pedal my way around the streets each day and I am rewarded with litter and filth.

Yesterday, a tourist was greeted by a red belly black snake as he prepared his boat to reverse down the boat ramp.  He killed it and tossed it in the gutter.  I was told about it today, so I went searching for it (I didn't even take my camera with me!).

There it was, still lying in the gutter, very dead.

A poisonous snake is still poisonous, even after it's dead.  It's currently school holidays.  If a kid had gone running bare foot down the street and stood on the snake's head ... I hate to imagine the consequences.

Maybe I am just super paranoid because of what happened to Dad.  So I found a big stick and used it to pick up the snake and take it to the sulo bin near the boat ramp.  It might stink for a couple of days til the garbo empties the bin, but I'd rather put up with the smell, than see a child get hurt (or worse) ... even if it is the kid who left the empty coke bottle lying in the rocks!

So, what is stress?  It can be caused by a screaming shaking human being coming down from a drug high and blaming you for all that is wrong in their life ... or it can be caused by the sight of an empty plastic coke bottle lying on the ground, instead of in the bin where it belongs.

It's all relative really.  Nine days and counting, til the tourists go home lol.

These lovely things are nesting in the block of land beside my house at the moment.  The one on the ground is at the mouth of the nest, which is a tunnel in the sand.

Normally, I would say 'nite all', but it's only 2pm so ...

Afternoon all.