Day Ten of Fifteen

Well, as you've all no doubt heard by now, a terrible terrible tragedy has occurred in Paris where 128 people have been killed and 180 injured after gunmen simultaneously attacked six different sites throughout the city.

My daughter is safe and well and in lock down in her hotel room, where she has been since arriving due to illness .. thank goodness for aeroplanes laden with hundreds of people carrying germs, is all I can say! Who knows where she might have been when the shootings took place, if she was well enough to be out and about last night!

There are no words to describe the level of fear and adrenalin that frequently courses through my veins every time I consider what could have happened and what could still happen to my child while she is supposed to be enjoying her dream holiday.

Thank goodness I've had Chicklet to keep me occupied for the day, although I've been 'short' with her a couple of times while I tried to deal with my inner stress and her outer stress at the same time!

It doesn't matter how old your kids are, you still worry about them just as much, as adults, as when they were defenceless babes.

My heart ached when I knew that Bubbles was huddled on the floor in her bedroom riding out a massive cyclone-like storm that hit Sydney recently that seemed to go on for hours.

I felt like I wanted to throw up when Number One Son was beaten by his neighbour's X-husband not long ago and even sicker knowing that the DVO that was taken out, was just a piece of paper that the violent man could ignore if he chose.

Now, I'm trying desperately to ignore the voices in my head that are continually describing worst case scenarios in Paris and my imagination that keeps playing my own hellish movie productions that never end well.

Thank you to Vegan Chickie, who knows of my fears and is fulfilling my request by texting me every hour to tell me she is ok.

Today has not been the best day for me, but only due to the stress .. any other time, today would have been a breeze.

After our phone call with Vegan Chickie, the Bare-chested Chef dropped us at Civic at about 9.40am on his way to work. My plan was for coffee and a short play in the children's area, before grabbing some groceries and heading home by about 10.30am.

The Barista informed me that the Minions were appearing in the centre this morning and that there were huge numbers of children already accumulated in the play area and around the stage which was set up close to the play area.

Great! Just what Chicklet and I needed, an unplanned event for which we have not been able to prepare in advance. Her level of the 'spectrum' requires planning for these things!

So we head to the play area anyway, buying a Minion show bag on the way for $25 which contained a plastic cup, a plush toy minion, a pack of minion playing cards, a minion cap and a children's beach towel with life sized minion on it. Pretty good value I thought.

Surprisingly, I found a free table to sit at while Chicklet joined the gazillion other kids in the play area. By now, it was about 9.50am and I was assuming, by the size of the crowd, that the show would begin at 10am.

So I sat and I waited, watching Chicklet as she hovered between me and the play area and hoping that this would be over soon .. I hate crowds too .. especially crowds of unruly children!

By 10.40am there is still no sign of Minions, there is a young couple on stage singing Christmas carols, but they are not the slightest bit interested in the children because they seemed to be more interested in how they looked and sounded, taking selfies and quite obviously full of themselves.

Chicklet was now complaining that no kids wanted to play with her, so between us, we decided to leave the area and head to BIG W to find a dinosaur to take home.

After a long decision process and after I declined her request for the $70 T-Rex that moved and roared, we chose a noisy pteranodon with moving wings and glowing orange eyes. We then selected a couple of dvds .. Lady and the Tramp (her selection) and Bolt (my selection) .. before she excitedly requested a balloon.

BIG W at Civic has a whole party section in one corner with a huge selection of balloons which they blow up with helium at a charge of $2 extra. We selected the only dinosaur balloon which was foil and had 'happy birthday' on it. They tied a long piece of string to it and carefully attached it around her wrist and we departed BIG W with the biggest happiest smile ever!

The weather was looking ominous, so we decided to catch a taxi instead of the bus. I called the number and was told that they would be 'right there'.

We waited and we waited.

More than twenty minutes later, Chicklet decided that we should play 'catch the balloon'. It was a great idea in theory, except on the third 'catch', the string detached itself from the balloon and there it floated towards the sky with the ear piercing shriek of Chicklet trailing behind it.

Only Vegan Chickie will relate to the absolute horror that Chicklet was experiencing as she watched the balloon disappear, and as her screaming reached a crescendo, she suddenly turned and began to run - fast - in no particular direction!

MY scream at that moment, was louder than HER scream and it stopped her in her tracks and immediately silenced her, at which point, I grabbed her hand before she could take another step.

So now I had a decision to make .. do I appease Chicklet and take her inside to get another balloon, thereby, more than likely missing our taxi OR do I try to convince her that she doesn't need the balloon,  attempt to get her home thereby, more than likely, tempting a meltdown IN the taxi???

I chose the first option.

We power walked back into BIG W where I was quite rude to the woman behind the counter explaining what had happened. She suggested that they tie the balloon tighter to Chicklet, but I told her that 'as you can see, the string is still attached to Chicklet's wrist! It was the string that you tied to the balloon itself that let go! Thanks to you, I've just experienced my granddaughter's autistic meltdown AND I've also missed my taxi!!'

She was very apologetic and got me another balloon, which she blew up and tied the string extra tight. I attempted to pay for it, but she looked at me with kind eyes and said 'No, just take this one'.

*sigh*

Yes, I overreacted and shouldn't have given her such a hard time, but I my inner stress just took over!

I wanted to say "I'm so sorry, but my daughter is in PARIS!!!!"

We returned to the taxi rank and phoned for the taxi again - I explained what had happened and they sent another taxi, which arrived almost immediately.

We arrived home at about 1.30pm, just ahead of the storms that have been rolling in and over us all afternoon.

We had some quiet time for about 30 minutes.

We played dinosaur games with the new pteranodon.

We made runny chocolate brownies together.

We coloured in the personalised Octonaut pictures.

We watched Lady and the Tramp.

We had GF 'spaghetti with nothing on it' for dinner. Actually mine had chicken, bok choy and creamy lime & cracked pepper avocado through it. Delicious!

We had a quick bath and then two stories. We discussed our best and worst parts of the day and little miss chatterbox didn't want to shut up, until I said "No more talking. It's time to sleep."

I swear she was asleep 30 seconds later!

I think it's time for me to do the same. It's been a mentally and emotionally exhausting day.

Stay safe my child xo

Nite all.