Nice to see you!

Three major events occurred for me last year (2010), all in the space of about 2 weeks. I turned 50. The following day I got married. Two weeks later, my oldest daughter became pregnant with her first child and my first grandchild.

Most middle-aged people will tell you that in their minds, they still feel 20 something. It's the same for me.

Wasn't it only yesterday that I was planning a night out with guys from the surf club? That gorgeous new perm. Flaired, cuffed denims and the red t-shirt with the off-the-shoulder frill. Corked platform wedgies. **sigh**

Suddenly I'm looking in the mirror and wondering how 30 years can flash by so damned quickly!

So here I am in cyberspace, sharing my genuine shock and horror with anyone who'll listen and maybe I'll even meet some other over 50s who find themselves in the same predicament!

Welcome to my dilemna!!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Eight Weeks!

Eight weeks until the exhibit opens!

Far out!

I can do this.

I do my best work under pressure!

Leave everything til the last minute and it will fall into place beautifully.

It always does.

Just breathe.

Ok, remember earlier this year, I 'exposed' myself a little to you?  To refresh your memory ...

http://agechallengedrqqzy.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/allow-me-to-expose-myself.html

Let me expose a little more today.

I am having huge doubts about my photography and whether I am good enough to display my photographs to the world in an art gallery.

I am so afraid that people will walk in and say **insert derogatory comments here**.

I am afraid that because I don't use photoshop to manipulate my photographs until they resemble oil paintings or other types of artwork, that I will be rejected as a fraud.

I feel safe showing my photographs to friends and family because they love me and like whatever I do, because they understand me.  They know the love that goes into my photos.

Strangers don't know me.  They don't understand me.  They don't know the love that goes into my photos.

They will compare me to prominent and famous photographers and I will fall short ... by a long way.

This is a huge deal for me ... to make myself vulnerable to the world.

I am terrified.

As the date looms closer, I become more terrified.

I keep chanting in my head "You can do this!  You CAN do this!  YOU can do this!  You can DO this!"

It's easy to be terrified of the unknown.  Give me strength.

I can do this.  Really, what have I got to lose?  A bit of pride and self-respect?  Pfft - who needs pride and self-respect?

My photos may look good on a computer screen, but many will fall short when it comes to printing.

How will my definition of Art Deco compare to other people's definition?

Ugh!  Doubts, doubts and more doubts.

Just keep chanting.

YOU CAN DO THIS!  YOU CAN DO THIS!  YOU CAN DO THIS!  YOU CAN DO THIS!

One photo to share tonight ...


I can do this! (in my finest squeaky voice)
Nite all.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

one positive thing you seem to
have forgotten is that the ARTIST
having seen your photographic
work asked YOU to co-exhibit. It
was and is HER choice!!

Please trust her judgement! She does know what she wants in the
Exhibition and it is your work with
her own. GO FOR IT!! xx grannymus

Age said...

A big hug and THANK YOU Grannymus :D